The girl you just called fat?

There's a new anti-bullying facebook status being reposted that I think is really great. It goes like this: 

The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you called stupid, he has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you called ugly? She spends hours putting make-up on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people then you think. Put this as your status if you're against bullying.

I think using facebook statuses is a really creative way of bringing awareness of different social issues that people usually don't encounter in their normal routine. I especially love it when it comes from someone unexpected, or offers support to someone anonymously listening. However I want to add to the spirit of this message that it's not only negative words that work their way into a person's psyche or become part of an accepted discourse. It's ALL language - sometimes even things that are well-intentioned - that have power in shaping someone's identity, self-esteem and sel-concept. So I offer an alternative facebook status as just food for thought :).

The girl you just called SKINNY? She has been starving herself and lost over 30 lbs to fit a societal imperative that she be "beautiful" according to a prejudiced, unhealthy and unrealistic/unattainable ideal. The boy you called STUPID? He is an imaginative and enthusiastic painter, but is branded as inferior according to a single definition of success. The girl you called BEAUTIFUL? She lives in a society where it matters what other people think of her, and where she is expected to welcome comments on her body and taught to need external validation of her self-worth. The boy you just tripped? He is secretly afraid and starts to bully others to protect his own ego. 

There's a lot more to people than you think. Sometimes it's not just the negative comments that get to us, but the positive ones that have only the best intentions. Commenting on others' bodies is supposed to make them feel good. Kids who are bullied get more empathy than the bullies who are bullied. Language has power, plain and simple. But thinking about the things we say and do that are so deeply ingrained we don't even question them? Now THERE'S a powerful message.

Body Image and Queer Intersections...

We know that body image is an issue that affects everyone in different capacities. From diets to disordered eating to liposuction and breast implants, people are constantly in search of the "perfect body."

I write this post because for many women, black women in particular, expectations for the "perfect body" are a bit different than what would be considered the American standard of beauty. Women are taught that to be desirable by men (yep, forget about all of the queer women out there), they have to be:

Blonde

Skinny

Busty

Fair skinned

Blue eyed

Long haired

....white.

Better known as Barbie. Now we know that Barbie has some multi-colored friends, but in reality women of color are not expected to fit this same mold. Women of color are often dehumanized and overly-sexualized. Black women in particular need to be aggressive, readily-available for sex, kinky, wide-hipped, light-skinned, long-haired, and have a large butt. Nicki Manaj describes herself as the black Barbie, and many girls idolize her, especially women trying to make it into the rap scene.

Meet Claudia Aderotimi:

Claudia, an aspiring rap artist, recently passed away after receiving illegal silicone injections to enlarge her buttock. Her friends closest to her told reporters that Claudia had become convinced that a larger butt would equal rap success. Let's be honest, there is a lot of pressure in the media for women of color to look like this ideal black Barbie.

This story is sad and eye-opening in terms of body image in and of itself, but where it also intersects with queer experiences is with transwomen. Transwomen, particularly transwomen of color and lower-socio economic status, have been risking their lives to receive silicone implants and injections for purposes of gender expression for years. Cosmetic surgery is expensive and very rarely covered by issuance, even if it is for gender-identity purposes. While Claudia's reasons for having this surgery were different, the fact remains that silicone injections are dangerous and often unmonitored.

Bad-Ass Folk!

This may be cheating because this person is a personal friend and colleague, but this month's Bad-Ass is Chris Mosier!

Click this link to learn more about his amazing Iron Man journey, but know that Chris is an amazing student, athlete, and queer advocate (among many other things), and he needs your help! Watch the following video as many times as you can tolerate and help Chris get sponsored!

"I'm Chris Mosier, and I want to be sponsored by TRX. My goal is to qualify for Race Across America, a cross country cycling race. I'm a cyclist, runner, and Ironman triathlete, and a lot of other things.

TRX is the single most effective cross training and strength training tool I've found to help meget maximum results in minimal time. And it's portable and can be used anywhere - like Times Square. Perfect, for a busy New Yorker like me.

Please keep watching this video and help me get sponsored by TRX!"

Please Watch...

This video is disgusting. And I was literally brought to tears after viewing it. If you want to read more about the protest, click here. I can't really bring myself to look at it anymore, so I won't be posting a longer blog. The video speaks for itself.

Beyonce Embrace or DISGRACE!!!!!

Beyonce was recently in the March edition of the French L’Officiel Magazine. She has been stirring up some controversy with the “Blackface” photo shoot she did in paying homage to African Queens. In honor of the magazines 90th anniversary, and in tribute to Nigerian musician Fela Kuti, the singer, 29, appears in "blackface" makeup and tribal makeup and costume designed by her mom, Tina Knowles. Her fans have recently found it quite offensive based on the term “blackface” and the way it referred to actors with black paint on their face. It was a method used to show actors as black people, although black people were not allowed to be in films.

Blackface was a way for “white” people to play as black people in films as they thought black people acted. It was a discriminatory, subliminally making fun of black people and portraying their skin as extremely dark. The real reason why people felt that Beyonce was being offensive is that at the end of the day she can take the paint off her face, but what are women who are this skin tone everyday supposed to do? How are they going to take their color off and assimilate to the world’s view of beauty? The controversy arouse because if she wanted to pay homage, she could have just done the shoot, why was it necessary to paint on a face?

Is Beyonce wrong for what she has done? Are her fans wrong for taking the shoot the wrong way? Why is her homage for these beautiful African queens, one of actual disrespect? In trying to respect her African queens she thought being black was beautiful, but when you paint your face darker in order to look more 'African,' aren't you reducing an entire continent, full of different nations, tribes, cultures and histories, into one brown color? These are the questions we must ask ourselves before we make our opinion of this so called disrespectful act. I am well aware of what the "blackface" term symbolizes as well how it was used against colored people, but does that mean Beyonce was trying to use it in the same way against her fans. It is no point in going on pointing fingers or saying that it’s wrong or right, but in honor of her intentions it may very well be she did not intend on being offensive to her fans, but that depends on how this article makes you feel.

Why the Planned Parenthood Cut Will Not Pass in the Senate

The really scary push to defund Planned Parenthood that passed in the house now moves for approval in the Senate. The Pence Amendment is only part of the larger federal spending bill. So of course when the Senate debates the Planned Parenthood controversy, it will be in context of the overall issue, the federal budget. Yet, the amendment to defund Planned Parenthood, at least in its current form, is unlikely to pass in the Senate.

Several prominent pro-choice senators have unabashedly voiced their unanimous opposition to this proposal. They include Kirsten Gillibrand of New York, Jeanne Shaheen of New Hampshire, Barbara Boxer of California, Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut and Al Franken of Minnesota. Franken has said to the press that he believes the Democrats have enough votes to block the amendment. At this point, numbers appear to be on the side of choice.

Furthermore, the House Budget Committee Chair, Paul Ryan (R-WI), believes that the Republicans do not have enough votes to pass the legislation as it appears now. Most major news outlets have agreed that the legislation stands little chance of passage in the Senate. After all, the Senate is much more supportive of the right to choose than the House.

Unfortunately, the need to pass a budget will define the parameters of the Senate's debate. If Congress does not pass a federal budget, there is a threat of a total government shutdown. Such an event has not occurred since 1995. Both parties would like to blame the other as being unwilling to compromise and thus avoid blame for the potential government shutdown. So the real issue for most senators is not the right to choose, but how the battle over the budget goes, and where the Planned Parenthood issue fits into that larger debate.

So under normal circumstances, the proposed defunding of Planned Parenthood would easily be struck down by Senate Democrats, however, this threat of a government shutdown might just force some Democrats to "compromise" and allow some parts of the amendment to survive. In my opinion, that is the greatest threat to Planned Parenthood, not the current outright defunding.

Again in context of the larger political hoopla surrounding the federal budget, the Planned Parenthood funding issue will likely serve as ammunition for both sides. Since this issue is being fairly well covered in the liberal press, many Democratic senators would not want to lose base support by allowing the defunding measure to pass as it stands. This pressure works in favor of the right to choose since pro-choice politicians retain a majority in the Senate.

I really do hate the fact that anti-choice politicians wantonly take so many important issues (federal budget, health care reform) hostage. Yet the progressive edge over the conservatives in the Planned Parenthood funding issue is beneficial in so far as it should stop liberals from panicking. However, just because progressives have a few advantages in the Senate does not mean that they should not rest in announcing, no shouting, their opposition to this proposal. Even though Republicans probably won't get their way, it is still an attack on w omen's constitutional rights everywhere. Which is why engaging in rallies and other such means of opposition are always relevant.

Please contact your senators and urge them to strike down this legislation. If you call their offices, make sure to use the well written and thorough prompt that Zaneta has provided a few posts ago.

After all, who else has the responsibility of keeping liberal politicians on their toes?

What do you all think, how will this turn out?

Disability Justice is a Reproductive Justice Issue

I can not tell you how excited I am by the response to cutting funding to Planned Parenthood. It feels like a movement for the first time in a long time, at least for me personally. I also feel so incredibly empowered by the huge amount of support for the "I Stand with Planned Parenthood" campaign, but at the same time, I'm forced to check my privilege.

With advances in genetic testing, there is a growing debate about disability and abortion. Often time the question becomes whether or not "this child will be better off not being born than suffering through life with a disability." I recently learned about some failed legislation that would have banned abortion if the woman was basing her decision on the fetus' race, sex, or ability. Limiting choice is NOT the solution. Rather the solution is to reteach what we value as a society.

The fact that the biggest campaign for Planned Parenthood uses ableist language isn't nearly as concerning as those who are not even in the conversation. My movement is more than the pro-choice/pro-life debate...I'm talking about Access to equal and affordable health care, Sovereignty to be in and make decisions for our own bodies, and Liberation for all those who have been silenced or made invisible because we don't fit nicely into "normal."

I mean, that's just how I'm feeling today...How do you feel about it?

Trust Black Women...

Have you seen this ad in SoHo?

This offensive board comes from the people of LifeAlways, and is within walking distance of three Planned Parenthoods. The trite fear-mongering concept behind this board is neither new nor original. A similar style poster appeared in Georgia recently from the organization Right to Life :

1) I wasn't aware that different ethnicity=different species.

2) I get that Planned Parenthood and Margaret Sanger have a historical tie to eugenics, but when the hell are we going to trust that black women can make our OWN choices.

3) Organizations like these cite that Planned Parenthoods are only placed in black and latina communities because the have a secret agenda of racial population control. But Planned Parenthood is about ACCESS, not race. And last I checked, having affordable access to sex education, contraceptives, CANCER SCREENINGS, and pre-natal care weren't bad things.

I decided to do a little digging behind the SoHo ad, because I had a sneaking suspicion that there were no black women on LifeAlways' board. And guess what folks:

I was right.

I wish people would stop villainizing women who make the incredibly difficult decision to terminate a pregnancy. Abortions are NEVER an easy decision, and until you are in that position, you'll never know what it feels like. This is why the discussion that happening right now around Planned Parenthood ABSOLUTELY needs to include racial and economic justice. I'll be rallying Saturday...will you?

Honor Killing: Women Electrocuted for Disobeying Family

January 25, 2011, Police arrested family members of 21-year old Pakistanian Saima Bibi. She was electrocuted by family members for going against there demands of a pre-arranged marriage. Police arrested Bibi's father and three other relatives after being tipped off by an anonymous caller, said police official Muhammad Ismail. She had defied her family demands and instead ran away about one month before this to the southern port city of Karachi to marry a fellow villager, police official Rao Zahoor said. Bibi's family told police she committed suicide on Friday in their village in the district of Bahawalpur in Punjab, but a medical report showed signs of torture and electrocution on her hands, legs and back. I t was told to police that they had traveled to Karachi to make her come back home and when she didn’t listen they tormented her. A 2009 study by the European Journal of Public Health showed one out of every five homicides in Pakistan was an honor killing. Some Baluch communities in Baluchistan province and parts of Sindh and Punjab provinces still justify honor killings.

These so called honor killings has been a growing problem in Pakistan areas, the murder of a women accused of committing adultery, and behaving in dishonorable behavior. They are seen to bring shame to the homes of their family members and in order for the family to diminish this stigma they gain they must kill the bad seed out of the bunch to bring back honor. This term they state to make it seem as though it is justice to kill these women in honor of the family. I am not the one to judge and diminish their beliefs, but I believe this is horrid. To treat these women with no self-entitlement and to release their rights to life away from them is immoral. I however recently have learned that a lot of countries outside of the U.S., very seldom give women rights. It is unfortunate to think as hard as women in America face issues of discrimination these women have not even a right to state an opinion. It is time for a change, this is not the first nor will it be the last time I state this. I just wish for Saima sake her family would have understood that.

“The right things to do are those that keep our violence in abeyance; the wrong things are those that bring it to the fore”
Robert J. Sawyer

Tell Your Story!!!!

I joined a project with co-blogger Jill on Tumblr! We're hoping to create a safe space for people to share their stories and gratitude for Planned Parenthood. So check it out and tell you story! And don't forget to rally with a bunch of NYAF bloggers on Saturday (see post below)!!!!

CHECK IT OUT HERE!