Why I won't be attending NYC Pride this year...

Two words: Dan Savage.

Dan Savage will be one of the Grand Marshalls for this year's Pride parade.

I know that the "It Gets Better" campaign has been widely criticized for its limited message and lack of understanding of privilege. I understand/agree with that critique, but I also recognize that the campaign has done a lot of good for a lot of people. This personal boycott of NYC Pride is not because of "It Gets Better," it's about Dan Savage. TRIGGER WARNING!

Massachusetts Bullying Case

15-year old Phoebe Prince took her own life after being continuously ridiculed by fellow school mates. She was physically attacked, verbally abused and emotionally unstable due to the careless acts committed by friends of a former boyfriend of hers. the case has been surrounded around 6 students allegedly involved in the bullying. The most amazing part of this story is the amount of time and investigation Massachusetts has put in to reveal the truth about this child's suicide. She was a young, innovative girl who made one decision that turned into misery, not by choice but by antagonizing peers.

The day she took her life she was followed from the library all the way home, being bullied and verbally abused by student s who found they acts harmless. There is nothing harmless about any abuse or injury to anyone's emotions or state of mind. To bully is too attack the feelings and to devour the soul in ways unexplainable. This teenage girl had been repeatedly faced with the effects of jealousy and hate and yet no one has received jail time. Even with people admitting to have taken part in the bullying there is no sentencing, but a lot of probation. However,those who are eligible to have time in jail will be readmitted to the court house once of age to decide what shall be done. I am saddened to once again see that the lives of amazing children in the world are be taken by the acts of careless individuals who do not care to watch how they treat people or consider for a moment what their actions may cause.

TRi find out more about this case visit : http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/05/05/massachusetts.bullying.trial/index.html

Hip Hop: Beyond the Beats & Rhymes

If you have never seen this film by Byron Hurt, PLEASE WATCH! Seriously. Instead of listening to Ashley Judd's misguided dismissal of most Hip Hop, educate yourself:

A very fun/effective alternative to youth fat shaming...

Brought to you by our amazing First Lady, Michelle Obama!

Fat Shaming the Youth

I get it. I get that childhood obesity is an exponentially growing issue. But is this the solution:

Where are the solutions in these ads? There are no proactive steps to help curve obesity, simply a depiction of how miserable all "overweight" people are. Parents are also being shamed for making their children "fat," but I wonder how many households have access/can afford organic fresh foods, or have safe/plentiful open spaces to run around in.

And what are the real messages behind these ads:
"Be skinny, or people will make fun of you." Shouldn't we be sending out messages to the folks making fun of others to not bully? I understand that it is a wonderful thing for folks to be healthy, but skinny does not always equal healthy, nor does a higher BMI always equal unhealthy.

Your thoughts? Have these Georgia ads gone too far?

Want more proof?

I posted below about how race will affect the way the vicious crimes against Chrissy Lee Polis, the trans woman who was attacked in a Baltimore McDonald's last week, and I was right. Check out this disgusting comment from an LGBT blog that caters to a "progressive" audience operating out of San Francisco:

(Click Picture to enlarge)

Hmmmm...I was not aware that white neighborhoods were safe for everyone and black neighborhoods were safe for no one. I'm a little too bitter to comment further on this. Make your own conclusions in the comment section!

Hey Gaga...Maybe I was born this way...

I've been debating for a while whether or not to write this post. It's a bit personal and a wee bit triggering, but I feel like it's something really important to talk about.

I'm queer. <---- Not a surprise. However, I'm not actually certain I was born this way.

I don't mean to bring up overused stereotypes, but I often question how my sexual orientation may have differed if I wasn't a survivor. This is not to say that all survivors end up queer. If 25% of women and 11% of men experience some form of sexual violence in their lifetime, clearly not all queer people are survivors and not all survivors are queer. But speaking from my own personal experience and realizations (as well as many a years of counseling and mentorship), I'm pretty comfortable talking about my status as a survivor and recognizing that is absolutely has played a role in my sexuality.

Now I know that "born this way" has been, and will continue to be an anthem for many generations of queer folk, but I ask you to consider the consequences of this single definition of how queerness occurs. Thanks to genetic testing and mapping, studies upon research upon experiments have been used to find the "gay gene." In some scientific spheres, gay is treated as a genetic mutation and an eventually curable disease.

I get why it's important to understand that queerness is not a choice, especially in terms of legal and human rights. But we have to recognize that queerness can be nature and/or nurture. And by nurture, I refer to life experiences, not teaching or brainwashing. Sexual violence is real, and I'm done pretending I was 'born this way," because I'm not sure I was.

But dear Gaga and all the little monsters out there...Maybe I was born this way, but maybe I wasn't...and that's ok too.

So a message to all those struggling with identity out there: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT WRONG. YOU ARE NOT SICK OR DAMNED...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL & LOVED & STRONG. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF!

Sadness and Anger All Around

Please watch this (violence/transphobic trigger warning):

(The unidentified trans woman) Chrissy Lee Poliswas brutally assaulted by two McDonald's patrons in Maryland while the majority of the employees stood by and watched the violence take place. At one point, one of the employees even began to laugh at the scene.

I bring this video to your attention for two reasons.

1. It's fucked up. The two patrons who committed this violence should be arrested. McDonalds should be forced to implement a cultural sensitivity training/bystander intervention training for all of their store managers. This woman deserves justice and compensation for her medical bills.

2. Racism still affects how these stories are shared and analyzed especially in the queer community. Want evidence?:

This comment was on the popular blog Bilerico for a while after the story first broke. I know that online commentary is notoriously full of bigotry, but COME ON. This is a progressive queer blog, not youtube. Thankfully the comment was removed in time, but nevertheless I still had to read it, as I'm sure other people of color had to as well.

If this video had been of two white cis women attacking a white trans woman, everyone would have analyzed it as solely transphobic. No one's race would have been used as reasoning for the act of violence. And the label transphobia would not have been attributed to all white people.

This video is terrible. I hope the victim receives justice. But I also hope I can interact with my community without having to constantly worry about if the color of my skin makes people uncomfortable.

TAKE ACTION:

Sign this petition AND call the phone number to the Maryland: Violent Crimes Division 410-887-6610

My Princess Boy

Five-year-old Dyson Kilodavis' preference of pink and princess dresses inspired his mom to write a book on tolerance. His family has supported his decision and his preference o f dresses and have learned to listen to their child and help him pursue his happiness. His mother and father were trying to force gender role norms on their child and it took for Dyson's older brother to tell his parents "Just let him be happy."

His mom wrote a book called My Princess Boy, inspired by her son and to open people's eyes to acceptance and understanding that children do what makes them happy. By forcing them to break these habits,we are pushing them into boxes they do not wish to be placed. We force them into these ideal images of what their role tells them to be and that is not the case. This experience has opened her eyes to listen to her children and she believe she has a responsibility to nurture her child's happiness. It makes Dyson happy to know that his family is supporting him and wants nothing but happiness for him. I'm happy to see such changes in the world occurring, but we are far from done with changing views.

Bad-Ass Folk!: Jessica Yee

April's Bad Ass is" multiracial Indigenous hip-hop feminist reproductive justice freedom fighter!" Jessica Yee!

Jessica impacted me SO much at this year's CLPP conference. My comfort and knowledge were challenged, in a very good way, for the first time in a long time. Yee is the founder and current director of the Native Youth Sexual Health Network, and has recently released Feminism FOR REAL: Deconstructing the Academic Industrial Complex of Feminism. I just ordered my copy, I hope you will too if you are able. If not, there are some great excepts available online! Everything Jessica presented at the conference was on point. Yee even put to words what I've never been able to.

I often feel as though when folks, specifically in the classroom or activist settings, say that they're "my ally in my struggles," it's total bullshit. It usually comes from a place of sympathy after reading about "people like me" in one of their sociology classes (I say "people like me" to represent a lot of different oppressed identities I carry: poor, inner-city, person of color, queer, genderqueer...etc.) When was the last time folks ventured into my neighborhood or even spoke to someone "like me" outside of the classroom or conference? I don't want you as an ally if you're afraid of where I come from. Yee brought up this idea of "consensual allyship" that really blew me away. Will definitely change the way I interact with well intentioned, misinformed folks. I personally wanted to say thank you, but I never got the chance to at CLPP. Read more about Jessica here.