Why the "You-Are-Loved Chalk Message Project" and projects like it are INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!

This Monday, October 4th, will mark the beginning of the second annual "You-Are-Loved Chalk Message Project." The program was started by Drew University under the leadership of New Jersey activist Jen Dugan. Each year, groups of college students and activists write encourages and uplifting messages of love on sidewalks and buildings. These messages are intended to give hope to those who are suffering from bullying, harassment, depression, or suicidal thoughts. The project is meant to shed light on the large amount of queer youth that are disproportionately affected.

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network's School Climate Survey in 2007 found that:

-86.2% of LGBTQ youth experience harassment in school due to their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

-60.8% of LGBTQ youth felt unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation.

-32.7% skipped a day of school in the past month because of feeling unsafe.

But in case these numbers aren't real enough for you. Meet Asher Brown(age 13), Seth Walsh(age 13), Justin Aaberg(age 15), and Billy Lucas(age 15). All four of these young boys were driven to suicide through constant bullying for their actual or perceived sexual orientation. Alarmingly, all of these tragic events occurred within the last TWO WEEKS, and these are only the people we know about. It's saddening and troubling and frustrating that we are losing queer youth because they feel alone and hopeless.

Participate in the "You-are-loved Chalk Message Project" on Monday and check out this beautiful video campaign initiative called "It Gets Better." And if you are someone who is struggling with these types of issues, know that you are NEVER alone. Please call this number if you need someone to talk to: 866-4-U-Trevor(1-866-488-7386).

To quote Harvey Milk "You gotta to give em' hope." Have you done your part?

Random thought...

Can we start calling all non Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU's) Historically white colleges and universities. Shouldn't we be honest? No? Your thoughts?

You down with GOP?...Hell to the no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This week, the GOP has proven to me why they have lost touch with most people, especially those under 40.

Reason number one:



Well, with people like that behind GOP strategy...

Reason number two:

They blocked the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Although, why gay people would even want to defend a country that tells them they aren't real human beings is beyond me...

Reason number three:

Over at Joe.My.God, an anonymous commenter posted "All Faggots Must Die" on a piece about the republican block of a DADT repeal. Readers of the blog demanded something be done and that the IP address be traced. Any guesses on where the post came from? If you guessed an office in Atlanta that houses both Sen. Saxby Chambliss’ and Sen. Johnny Isakson’s staff, you'd be right. These are the people the republican senators deem acceptable hires.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm over generalizing. I know not ALL Republicans are racist or homophobic, but sometimes it seems like no one is really all that for the queer community right now. Obama doesn't believe in equal marriage, the GOP thinks we should die, and the Tea-Baggers don't even believe we'll rot in hell. I'll see you there!

I just had a WOW moment with Lisa Duggan!

So the NYU Office of LGBT Student Services just had an AMAZING speaker come for our Queer Lunch(Quench) series. Her name is Lisa Duggan and she is a professor at NYU who also works with Queers for Economic Justice. (There is a link for their site on the right hand side of the screen)

She began by introducing a new project that she and a ton of cool people have been working on. It's a new e-book that is being released for free online in October entitled A New Queer Agenda: A Practical Guide to Turn the Gay Rights Movement Into a Progressive Fight for Social Justice (and Succeed!). Seriously, check it out when it's released, I was able to look at the table of contents and it's going to be AMAZING!

A conversation came up about hate crime legislation, and how many groups were opposed to different initiatives such as the Matthew Sheppard Act. Now, my gut reaction was "why would anyone be opposed to putting cold-blooded murders away?" But then as the discussion progressed, I realized that there is a simple answer to that question. Hate crime legislation addresses the symptoms, NOT the disease. Violence is the symptom of systemic hatred.

We all know that the "justice" system disproportionately affects persons of color and of lower socio-economic status. Hate crime legislation has resulted in increased funding for the purposes of of policing these communities even further. But do we spend nearly as much money on social justice education as we do prisons? Organizations like the Audre Lorde Project have advocated to instead give money and funding to educational initiatives that target at risk populations that are prone to violence. Consciousness-raising and the unteaching of early messages of prejudice and bigotry or of the pressures of masculinity are what is needed to decrease hate crimes. Now I'm not saying that when a person engages in violence that they shouldn't be prosecuted, but we have to ask ourselves why violence occurs so often.

What really made me say wow was the fact that when Matthew Sheppard was murdered, there was an outcry across this country and especially New York. Yet hundreds of transgendered sex workers were being beaten and murdered every year. Often times, it was police who were committing the violence.

Where's the justice in that?

Thoughts, reactions, concerns = comments! Please&Thankyou!

How NOT to pick up women

So I thought I would share the ABSOLUTE worst pick-up line that has ever been used on me. One night during my undergrad, my best friend and I walked out of my apartment. There was a group of men hanging out in the quad. As my friend and I entered the quad all we heard was "Finally, some beautiful black bitches." They then pursued to try and walk us to the shuttle stop while wrapping their arms around us asking for our numbers. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. I decided that to get out of the situation I would pull the lesbian card.

Now, for some this isn't always a safe route, but my friend and I felt pretty secure in our physical ability to take these men out if any violence occurred. So I threw the man's arm from around my shoulder and grabbed my best friend's hand. We increased our speed and yelled back to the group: "We're gay." Now my best friend is straight, but somehow she knew instinctively to play along and IT WORKED! But what I really wanted to say was "don't speak to me like that" or perhaps "show me some respect." But when was the last time you heard a woman respond like that to street harassment?

I later found out that the group of "gentlemen" had been harassing women the whole night, although apparently there were not enough "black bitches" for their liking. I wonder how safe other women felt. I wonder how they dealt with the unwanted attention. But I also wonder how many women are conditioned to just accept this type of behavior or even take it as a compliment.

So help me answer my questions. Comment with your best story about the worst/most uncomfortable pick-up attempt you've experienced. Let's compare notes and share tools for avoiding these blatant violations of decency.

One more beer commercial!...ok two more...

Thank you to Kevin for bringing the next commercial to my attention:



So you probably have some mixed reactions to this video. You may be saying to yourself that he got what he deserved. But Kevin has a different take on things that I tend to agree with:

"All women can do is say "No! Bad man!" when they catch them in the act like a dog chewing on a shoe. Kind of reinforces the "just don't get caught" mentality that we've already got embedded in us. So it ends with a gesture of "Hey, I saw that!" instead of how it's disrespectful to the woman in the chair and undermines her function as a person in a relationship instead of just a body."

Well said! But how about when the roles are reversed?



What are your reactions to seeing the two videos back-to-back?

Silly Men...lesbians are for ladies...

So we all know that lesbians have often become a sort of fetish for straight men. Check out this commercial from Corona:



One hot chick=one football and a wave hello. Two hot chicks who will probably make out and let us watch=10 footballs and a crowd of men. I don't think I really have to say why this reasoning is flawed or misogynist, but I do just want to put one simple message out there: Generally, LESBIANS TEND TO LIKE THE LADIES. Their sexuality is their own and not a real life porn for your enjoyment.

In addition to this invalidating way of looking at lesbian women, there is also a total double standard for gay men. Beer=Manly! This means to even insinuate that men in a beer commercial are gay is a risky move. Well clearly Corona must be an amazingly brave group of pioneers. (sarcasm)



You can tell that the silent women on the side of each of the men are there just in case any controversy came up over their orientation. Oh I get it. You want to tap into the gay market without making "real" men uncomfortable.

What are your thoughts? Leave some comments please&thankyou.

Can you tell me the difference between these two videos...?

GRRRRRRRRR...Post your reactions in the comment section. Please&Thankyou

Logistical Update

So I haven't posted in a while because I finally moved into my new apartment! It's been super hectic and I've been reduced to blogging from my blackberry so please forgive and be patient!

I start at NYU's LGBT center on Monday and I couldn't be more thrilled. I'm so excited to be in a new space with new people and new experiences. I wonder how different it will be to operate out of a space run mainly by people of color. At the same time I'll be attending an institution of immense privilege. Be prepared for a different tone in my up coming posts! Hope everyone is having a great summer break!

CHALLENGE TIME!!!!!!!!

So I've been watching MTV's "If You Really Knew Me" and I CAN'T get enough of "Challenge Days!" I also recently led a really productive diversity workshop last Sunday. With all of this on my mind, I've decided to challenge YOU! That's right, I'm talking to you. Every once in a while I think we all need to sort of check ourselves to know if we're practicing what we preach.

Here's the challenge:

Take a look at your group of friends and figure out some common traits among you. Now this could be ethnicity, CLASS, age, sexual identity, gender, nationality...etc. Now ask yourself how many people in your group of friends don't share the most prevalent common trait? I'll make this a little bit easier for you, ask yourself this:

Are all my friends the same ethnicity?
Are most of my friends the same gender?
Are most of the people I surround myself with from similar neighborhoods?
Walking through the halls, do I wave to the same type of people?

The answers to these questions might make you realize that you're not as out of your comfort zone as you might think, or that perhaps you have a few "token" friends in your group. Comment with your results!