Tracing my roots

So after having an interesting conversation with my mother about our family history, I decided to do a little research. Well before I start I'll tell you what I have always thought to be true: My mom: Italian(with one side of the family from Sicily and the other from Bari), German, Irish, Dutch, and Cherokee Native American. My dad: Jamaican. Making me: Jamaican, Italian, German, Irish, Dutch, and Cherokee Native American. I had previously heard this breakdown from my pop pop on my mom's side. Well according to my mom, we're not Cherokee or German or Irish or Dutch and I've either made up the memory of my grandpa telling me this or he was playing a trick on me when I was younger. Since I clearly remember always trying to figure out and ask questions about who/what I was because no one else at the dinner table was my skin color...I think my pop pop was playing tricks. So of course I have an ethnic identity crisis and begin asking questions all over again. A 22 year-old woman sent back to being a 7 year-old confused girl.

My mother, with a major assist from google, was able to shed a little light on my predicament. I have discovered that while my dad is fully Jamican...he is actually multi-ethnic. Because I'm not close with my father or my Jamaican family, I never really questioned that component of my identity. All I really knew was that my dad is the reason why I have brown skin instead of white like most of the family I grew up with. The one question I did always have was why my father's last name was Singh. I've always wondered how a Jamaican family ended up with a name originating from Hindu/Punjabi India.

Being the history major I am...I did some research. Jamaica is made up several different ethnic groups. While 90% of the population is black (African in origin resulting from the slave trade), there are also substantial White, Indian, Chinese, and Arawak populations on the island. After slavery was abolished on the British island, there were huge amounts of indentured servants brought over from the other British colonies and protectorates. Chinese and Indian workers would finish their mandatory years of servitude and then set up families and communities of their own. These lines and separated communities have continued over the decades resulting in only 7% of Jamaica being multi-ethnic. So apparently my father's mother was black but his father was Indian.

Why does any of this matter? Well as someone who has constantly felt lost in their ethnic identity and having very few mirrors in my family to identify with, I have always found some refuge in being knowledgeable about why I look the way I look. Why my skin is an ambiguous brown instead of a clearer shade of definitely this or that. Why people will forever ask me "what are you?" Why my hair is so unexpected. I know for a lot of people none of this stuff really affects them, especially those with a strong American, national, or monoethnic identity. I could easily give an answer like "human," but that usually leaves people very uncomfortable. Hell, it leaves me uncomfortable.

Recap: Mom: Italian (by way of Sicily and Bari)
Dad: Jamaican (by way of India and Africa)
Me: Italian, Afro-Jamaican, and Indian. (and content)

Sometimes I have to look in the mirror and ask my reflection the same question I get on a weekly basis: "what are you?" It's nice to have an answer.