Dan Savage will be one of the Grand Marshalls for this year's Pride parade.
I know that the "It Gets Better" campaign has been widely criticized for its limited message and lack of understanding of privilege. I understand/agree with that critique, but I also recognize that the campaign has done a lot of good for a lot of people. This personal boycott of NYC Pride is not because of "It Gets Better," it's about Dan Savage. TRIGGER WARNING!
During the recent Proposition 8 vote in California, Savage went on several rants blaming the "Black vote" for the injustice that was Prop 8. Check out part of his rant:
“I do know this, though: I’m done pretending that the handful of racist gay white men out there—and they’re out there, and I think they’re scum—are a bigger problem for African Americans, gay and straight, than the huge numbers of homophobic African Americans are for gay Americans, whatever their color. This will get my name scratched of the invite list of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, which is famous for its anti-racist-training seminars, but whatever. Finally, I’m searching for some exit poll data from California. I’ll eat my shorts if gay and lesbian voters went for McCain at anything approaching the rate that black voters went for Prop 8.”
Racism--check.
How is this racist? Well the pitting of one community against another both detrimental to building a collective movement against injustice, not to mention inaccurate for this specific case. While data shows that African Americans in California did vote 70 percent to pass Prop 8, they only represented 9% of the overall vote. Members of the media, including Savage, were so quick to blame the "Black vote" (as if there is one Black consciousness/vote) after the proposition passed because it was easy and quick. It completely disregarded queer people of color as existing, and
Dan Savage has also spewed some pretty transhphobic bile. He referred to trans women sex workers as "shemales":
"going down on a shemale escort shores up your heterosexual bona fides. Gay guys don’t frequent and/or fellate shemale escorts (on purpose or by accident); getting with shemales is an entirely straight-male pursuit. So you can go right on identifying as straight, RAGE. Of course you aren’t totally straight—try thinking of yourself as something more than straight, not less—but you’re close enough that you can round yourself down to straight with a clear conscience. (Offer void the day you start blowing hemale escorts.)"
Savage also has some sickening advice for a mother whose ex-partner is a transitioning MtF woman and wants to spend time with their child (emphasis mine):
"Children have a right to some stability and constancy from the adults in their lives. Perhaps I'm a transphobic bigot, but I honestly think waiting a measly 36 months to cut your dick is a sacrifice any father should be willing to make for his 15-year-old son. Call me old-fashioned.
Unfortunately, your ex wasn't willing to make that sacrifice (selfish tranny!), or it never occurred to him to make that sacrifice (stupid tranny!).... If your son can't deal with having his dad/mom/whatever around right now, support him and tell his dad/mom/whatever to leave the two of you alone for the time being."
Dan Savage has also spewed some pretty transhphobic bile. He referred to trans women sex workers as "shemales":
"going down on a shemale escort shores up your heterosexual bona fides. Gay guys don’t frequent and/or fellate shemale escorts (on purpose or by accident); getting with shemales is an entirely straight-male pursuit. So you can go right on identifying as straight, RAGE. Of course you aren’t totally straight—try thinking of yourself as something more than straight, not less—but you’re close enough that you can round yourself down to straight with a clear conscience. (Offer void the day you start blowing hemale escorts.)"
Savage also has some sickening advice for a mother whose ex-partner is a transitioning MtF woman and wants to spend time with their child (emphasis mine):
"Children have a right to some stability and constancy from the adults in their lives. Perhaps I'm a transphobic bigot, but I honestly think waiting a measly 36 months to cut your dick is a sacrifice any father should be willing to make for his 15-year-old son. Call me old-fashioned.
Unfortunately, your ex wasn't willing to make that sacrifice (selfish tranny!), or it never occurred to him to make that sacrifice (stupid tranny!).... If your son can't deal with having his dad/mom/whatever around right now, support him and tell his dad/mom/whatever to leave the two of you alone for the time being."
Transphobia--check.
Why is this transphobic? Using male/dismissive pronouns when the woman's ex partner is clearly identifying as a woman is unacceptable. Using the word "tranny" ???? Come on...
Savage also has some pretty opinionated/misinformed/trite things to say about asexuality.
This comment was from one of his readers:
I am asexual. I have never been interested in sex, with anyone. But I only discovered that asexuality even existed several months into a relationship. Was this my fault? I told my boyfriend, fully expecting to be "dumped" as you recommended to your caller. Instead he told me he was okay with it, and expressed full willingness to find alternative ways of showing our love. Three years later, we're still together.
Thank you for you time. I don't normally send emails of this sort, but your comments feel to me like a personal attack on my orientation, and with the details of asexuality so widely unknown, I don't appreciate this spread of misinformation. In the future when people are looking for an explanation of asexuality, you might refer them to www.asexuality.org.
Stephanie
If you were expecting a sincere apology, response, or even recognition that he was misinformed about asexuality, you expected too much. Instead, Savage responded with this:
I appreciate the feedback, Stephanie, and I'm sorry I offended you. But... um... I couldn't help but think, as I read your letter, that your boyfriend is either a fool or a fag. But if it works for you guys—if a romantic relationship devoid of sexual attraction and activity works for you guys—then it works for you guys. Who am I to argue with success?
And as much as Savage claims to be against LGBT bullying, does he not realize that size also plays into youth bullying? You wouldn't know it by this post:
I am asexual. I have never been interested in sex, with anyone. But I only discovered that asexuality even existed several months into a relationship. Was this my fault? I told my boyfriend, fully expecting to be "dumped" as you recommended to your caller. Instead he told me he was okay with it, and expressed full willingness to find alternative ways of showing our love. Three years later, we're still together.
Thank you for you time. I don't normally send emails of this sort, but your comments feel to me like a personal attack on my orientation, and with the details of asexuality so widely unknown, I don't appreciate this spread of misinformation. In the future when people are looking for an explanation of asexuality, you might refer them to www.asexuality.org.
Stephanie
If you were expecting a sincere apology, response, or even recognition that he was misinformed about asexuality, you expected too much. Instead, Savage responded with this:
I appreciate the feedback, Stephanie, and I'm sorry I offended you. But... um... I couldn't help but think, as I read your letter, that your boyfriend is either a fool or a fag. But if it works for you guys—if a romantic relationship devoid of sexual attraction and activity works for you guys—then it works for you guys. Who am I to argue with success?
And as much as Savage claims to be against LGBT bullying, does he not realize that size also plays into youth bullying? You wouldn't know it by this post:
"Every time I read something about childhood obesity... this Tim Minchin song starts to play in my head. Yes, it's harsh, brutal even, very nearly bullying. But... um... you gotta admit that there's a (grain) Cinnabun or two of truth to it."
I'm over it y'all. I think that if Dan Savage is going to continue to be such a prominent figure for LGBTQ issues, he should be held a hell of a lot more accountable for the shit he says, the communities he silences, and the experiences he ignores. I don't know...how do you feel about it?
You're absolutely right about his comments, but I disagree with boycotting NYC Pride in its entirety as a result. Dan Savage is being honored for his creation, the “It Gets Better Project.” He is being honored together with Terry Miller, the co-creator, for this specific purpose. It is clearly not intended to be a validation of everything he has said in his career, nor should it even be taken as such. Dan Savage is a controversial figure to put it mildly.
ReplyDeleteLook at the effects the project has had on people around the world, from the President to everyday high schoolers. It is probably the most widely positive and intentionally constructive grass-roots campaign of the LGBT Community. That is what he-with his partner-is being primarily honored for. Yes, those comments are wrong, but in light of the reason for his honor, the “It Gets Better Project,” is a general boycott really justified?
But I agree that he should be held accountable for those comments. I always consider a boycott an option of last resort, not a first attempt at protest. Personally, I would not boycott an LGBT event without first seeking a more dialogue-conducive approach because I consider us all to be ultimately on the same side.
There is not one word in this article about one of Dan's major targets, bisexuals. Once again we get erased. A summary of his history with us can be found here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.afterelton.com/oysters-04-28-2011-dan-savage-biphobic
He responded with this:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/bisexuals/Content?oid=8743322
which is just more bi-bashing barely pretending to be some sort of apology.
However, we have worked long and hard for Marriage Equality, and to build a bi community. This is OUR party, and our reward for our hard work. We are not going to let one little biphobe ruin our big day.
The bi community has been discussing making a concerted effort to write in to the newspapers where his advice column is published to get them to stop publishing it. That would hurt him a lot more than us depriving ourselves of fun, which he will not notice at all.
ReplyDeletejust.. get a life. you're reading things that are not on his words. your drowned-in-hatred and desperate-to-find-blame speech is ridiculous and devoid of reason. those quotes you use of him (and of what other people think of him without any clear facts) prove nothing besides the fact Dan's sometimes as a lame sense of humor. He has an attitude, and yes, sometimes he's annoying. But calling him racist and homophobic is just plain stupid.
ReplyDeleteIf you really have that much free time on your hands, just use it to blame real racist and homophobic people out there. There's loads of them in case you missed it.
And boycotting the Pride event just because of that just show more more about how you really feel towards the pride events than anything else. Not-you-average-feminist, just a dumb one.
Tres,
ReplyDeleteIf we do not hold one another accountable, then how on earth do you expect we build a more inclusive stronger community...how do you suggest we build a movement?
Of course there are folks out there that are more outwardly racist/transphobic/biphobic (thank you for pointing out Dan's biphobic remarks Estravan...I really appreciate it), but this post was not about them.
This post was about some one has been deemed, and who has also named himself, a champion of the LGBTQ community, who has a responsibility to use this power to empower all those in the LGBTQ community...not just those he feels have identities that are more legitimate than others. He has the responsibility to not use marginalized identities within the LGBTQ community as comedic relief.
He has to be better. We all do.
And while I appreciate comments on this blog...this is not the space to use abusive language. Telling me to "get a life" or calling me "lame" or "dumb" will not help you prove your points. This is a dialogue not a third grade playground (ironic that you're cyber bullying when Dan Savage is all about ending bullying and "it gets better")...
If you want to have a real conversation, please bring something "better" than that next time.